Secular Service

Welcome to family and friends:
We are gathered here today to take part in the most time honored celebration of the human family, uniting a man and a woman in marriage.  ____________ and ____________ have come to witness before us, telling of their love for each other. We remember theirs is a love whose source is the affection of those who loved them into being.

Opening:
You have know each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way.

All those conversations were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks -- all those sentences that began with "When we're married" and continued with "I will and you will and we will" -- those late night talks that included "someday" and "somehow" and "maybe" -- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.

All those common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, "you know all those things we've promised and hoped and dreamed -- well, I meant it all, every word."

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another -- acquaintance, friend, companion, and even teacher. Now you shall say a few words that take you across the threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this is my husband, this is my wife.

Reading (Optional):

The Art of a Good Marriage by Wilferd Arlan Peterson
The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands, It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day. It is never going to bed angry. It is never taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.

It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for the things of spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

Vows:
We remind ____________ and ____________ that they are performing an act of complete faith, each in the other; that the heart of their marriage will be the relationship they create. In a world where faith often falls short of expectation, it is a tribute to these two who now join hands and hearts in perfect faith.
 
__________, will you receive ______________ as your wife? Will you pledge to her your love, faith and tenderness, cherishing her with a husband's loyalty and devotion?

Groom: "I will."

__________, will you receive ______________ as your husband? Will you pledge to him your love, faith and tenderness, cherishing him with a wife's loyalty and devotion?

Bride: "I will."

Rings:
_________ and __________, receive each other from your fathers and mothers, who give you into each other's keeping, by saying now, each to the other, words which will tell of your love.

The wedding ring is a symbol of unity, a circle unbroken, without beginning or end. And today __________ and ___________ give and receive these rings as demonstrations of their vows to make their lives one, to work at all times to create a life that is whole and unbroken, and to love each other without end.

____________, take the ring which you have selected, place it on ____________'s finger, and say to her these words.
This ring, a gift for you, symbolizes my desire that you be my wife from this day forward.

____________, take the ring and as you place it on ____________'s finger, please state your pledge to him repeating these word:
This ring, a gift for you, symbolizes my desire that you be my husband from this day forward.

Reading (Optional)
Today is a day you will always remember -- the greatest in anyone's life. You'll start off the day just two people in love and end it as husband and wife. It's a brand new beginning, the start of a journey, with moments to cherish and treasure. And although there'll be times you both disagree, these will surely be outweighed by pleasure.

You'll have heard many words of advice in the past, when the secrets of marriage were spoken, but now you know that the answers lie hidden inside, where the bond of true love lies unbroken. So live happy forever as lovers and friends, it's the dawn of a new life for you, as you stand there together with love in your eyes from the moment you whisper, "I do." And with luck, all your hopes, and your dreams can be real, may success find its way to your hearts. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all starts.

Prayer for the Bride and Groom (Optional):
Eternal God, without your grace no promise is sure. Strengthen ____________ and ___________ with patience, kindness, gentleness, and all the other gifts you so abundantly impart, that they may fulfill the vows they have made this day. Keep them faithful to each other and to you. Fill them by your word and serve you all of their days. Amen.

Pronouncement:
____________ and ____________, as a collection of words, this ceremony would count for little, were it not for the love and commitment you have pledged to one another. Your vows may have been spoken in minutes, but your promises to each other will last a lifetime. Having witnessed your vows for marriage with all who are assembled here, and by the authority vested in me, I announce with great joy that you are husband and wife.

Kiss:
You may kiss your bride.

Presentation:
It gives me great pleasure to present to you, for the first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs.____________ .